STAKEN..

Staken.. Singly Taken.

Story of my life. So I'm cursed with grass is always greenier on the other side syndrom. The same problem I cursed so many for having the same one I was so high above I suffer from. Oh My God I LOVE him, but wait look at the hot guy. Dont get me wrong I'm not all about dancing around the room blowing on other guys dice when I'm Taken...but when I'm Staken..Singly Taken.. well then I'm no better then the next floozy. I'm texting you on the phone while my eyes scan the room for the next romeo. You see I dont have a problem getting guys, or even getting them to want a relationship with me, as a matter of fact so it seems that everytime I turn around somebody falls in love with me. Its getting them to stay..not stray. This is my fault, my down fall.. my brick wall. I test the water I push and I push and I push and then I beg you to stay. I dont need your help, I dont need your love and I dont need you. Secretly everyone wants them all. Someone to love. Someone to trust. Single Mom Syndrom is the worse too. If I was a pusher before I'm like Pusher extreme now. Because I have someone, granite he is a lil someone and he is my son but he loves me unconditionally and I love him, for the first time I love. I wonder how many times I'm gonna sulk about the one, one(s) that got away before I stop giving them reason to leave.. to stop the if I hurt you, then you can't hurt me cycle. If your reading this thinking I'm a head case your probaly right, but the thing is you prolly are too. Weather your alone, or in a relationship for fear of being alone.. you too get stuck in your head. And for those of you, the lucky few are with the "one" well congratulations you were able to escape the funk, or fake it.
My justification to my madness always seems that he just wasn't the one for me. Perfection isn't what I need.. but a manly man, a country man, a beach going man, making me belly laugh, sparatic, facial hair sporting, flannell wearing, tattooed sweet talking music loving man.. well thats my man.. hes out there I guess.. I'm not even looking for him.. I'm just pushing away till I find the one to stay.